She Didn't Wait Her Turn—She Took It: A Leadership Lesson for Women in Any Field

The Power of Not Waiting to Be Chosen

What happens when you stop waiting for permission to lead?

In my latest podcast episode, I spoke with Rebecca Engle—who at just 17 years old decided she wasn't going to wait for someone to invite her to the table. She was going to build her own.

By 19, she had run for Precinct Chair in Texas and broke a state record. Today, she's advised senior officials on education policy, earned the respect of school board presidents, and continues to lead advocacy work—all while still in graduate school.

As she powerfully stated: "If we're not stepping up, nobody is. Leadership isn't about waiting your turn—it's about walking in the room like you belong there and using your voice, even when it shakes."

Her story offers powerful lessons for women in any professional field where we're expected to "wait our turn."

Leadership Statistics Women Need to Know

According to McKinsey's 2023 Women in the Workplace report, women remain significantly underrepresented in leadership positions:

• Women hold just 28% of C-suite positions

• For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 87 women receive the same opportunity

• 43% of women leaders report being burned out, compared to 31% of men at the same level

But these numbers don't reflect lack of ability—they reflect systemic barriers and internalized hesitation.

Three Barriers Rebecca Faced (That Professional Women Everywhere Will Recognize)

Rebecca didn't have connections, generational wealth, or the "right" background. In fact, she began her journey from a place many might consider impossible—she was nonverbal as a child and moved from special education to honors courses by grade school.

When she stepped into political spaces at 17, she faced challenges that will sound familiar to many professional women:

1. The "Too Young/Too Inexperienced" Dismissal
"You're 19. You're not experienced enough. You don't have the backing. You don't have the knowledge," she was told repeatedly. Meanwhile, she watched as men her age received endorsements from mayors, city council members, and other leaders simply for showing up.

2. The Safety and Appearance Double Standard
She faced constant judgment about her appearance: "Men can throw on a dress shirt and dress pants and easily walk into a room. A woman has to find colors that match her hair, her eye tone, her skin tone... Men can wear a black suit every day and no one notices."

She was also told she needed a man with her for protection: "You're a woman, you're going to get grabbed or hurt or harmed."

3. The Credibility Question
When women succeed, Rebecca noted, people immediately question "how did you get here?" with the assumption being "you did it with men." Rather than recognizing competence, there's a persistent questioning of relationships and connections.

And yet—she persisted, focusing not on the barriers but on her experience, knowledge, and research.

The Confidence Difference: What Rebecca Did Differently

When I asked Rebecca how she maintained her confidence despite these barriers, her strategies revealed a powerful approach to leadership:

• She focused on expertise, not gender
"I didn't even focus on the fact that I was a woman," she told me. "I focused on my experience. I focused on what I knew. I focused on research."

• She sought out resources and allies
"I did seek out resources like things like this podcast," she explained. "I seek out other women that may live across the world in the field."

• She spoke up even when afraid
"Sometimes I just had to swallow my fear and get up and grab the microphone and speak out," she admitted. "Sometimes that microphone was met on the other side with boos or 'she doesn't know what she's talking about'... but at the end of the day, someone else was on the other side agreeing with me."

• She stepped up when others hesitated
During a convention when no one was taking charge, Rebecca looked at three 50-year-old men and said, "I can do it." She explained: "Had I not said anything, one of them would have ended up doing it."

• She stayed connected to her purpose
Her early childhood experiences as a neurodivergent student combined with her passion for education policy gave her a driving purpose stronger than any external validation.

The Harvard Business Review's research supports this approach: their study of successful women leaders found that those who built authentic leadership styles rather than conforming to traditional models were 1.8 times more likely to advance to senior positions.

The Confidence Paradox in Professional Settings

Rebecca's story highlights the confidence paradox many professional women face:

We're expected to be confident (but not too confident).
Assertive (but not aggressive).
Ambitious (but not threatening).

A 2023 study from the Barbara Lee Family Foundation found that women are held to a higher standard on virtually every leadership trait measured. They must demonstrate both competence AND likability, a double standard their male counterparts don't face.

What's the solution? According to Rebecca:

"Not everyone likes every flower—but those flowers still bloom. Confidence is knowing that, even if not everyone supports you, you still grow."

Three Professional Growth Questions From Rebecca's Journey

For your own leadership development, consider these reflection points:

1. Where are you waiting to be chosen?
What promotion, project, or position are you waiting for someone to offer you, rather than actively pursuing?

2. What would change if you acted "as if" you belonged?
How might your communication, posture, and decision-making change if you operated from the assumption that you already have permission to lead?

3. What's your unique perspective that others don't have?
Rather than trying to erase your differences, how can you position them as valuable insights that enhance your leadership?

Moving Beyond "Fake It Till You Make It"

Rebecca's approach wasn't about pretending. It was about authentic self-recognition and continuous growth.

She acknowledged that confidence requires balance: "I'm very, very opinionated and I have very strong beliefs. Sometimes I've had to step down from my loud opinionated self and listen... I've had to learn how to navigate the human mind that isn't mine."

The confidence she embodies doesn't come from ignoring self-doubt—it comes from acknowledging it and moving forward anyway. As she beautifully put it:

"Being authentically you, finding yourself authentically and being able to take yourself from the little seed who's bubbled up, who doesn't have a voice, who isn't loud, who isn't out there and being able to grow yourself... Not everybody likes every flower, but those flowers are still growing and those flowers started as a seed and they have a root and humans are the same. We'll continue to grow and we'll continue to bloom."

This isn't "fake it till you make it."
It's "bring your full self, grow deliberately, and trust that it's enough."

What's Next for Rebecca?

At just 22 years old, Rebecca is already looking toward her next impact.

She's compiling an anthology called "Through Our Lens, Perspectives on Disability" coming this October, featuring perspectives from advocates, parents, teachers, therapists, and disabled people themselves.

"I plan to use that book to drive policy changes for both K-12, higher education, and adults," she explained. She'll also complete her master's in education policy this August.

Want More Leadership Insights?

Listen to my full conversation with Rebecca Engle: 👉 Listen to the full podcast episode

Download my Confidence Building Worksheet: 👉 Free worksheet for aspiring women leaders

Take the next step in your leadership journey: 👉 Book a Confidence Strategy Session

Samantha Kaye Harris is the host of "Rooted in Your Confidence" podcast and works with women in male-dominated industries to build unshakable leadership presence. Connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.